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Zhenya Dolzikov

Blaze

Updated: Jan 16, 2023

I wonder if they'll ever be able to recreate the taste of pizza in the metaverse, or whatever the triumphant equivalent of that will be. Only then will I fully abandon the real and live in the virtual. I mean I guess it's inevitable, it sure sounds pretty dumb to wonder if it will "ever happen". That is clearly the direction that humans are headed and will get to, given enough time. When it does, will the "best slice" still be an objective opinion when everyone can instantly access every possible slice in existence with the click of a button? Or the blink of an eye, or just willing it into reality? When a device has full control of your neural network, will the defining factor of a good pizza still be the taste? What's stopping them from just making a pizza that gives you the maximum possible amount of pleasure that your brain can handle as soon as you bite into it. What's stopping them from giving every product the same treatment? Anyone that sells a product wants to give the user the best experience possible, right? If our brain is fully immersed in this artificial world, will every step we take, anything we buy, every interaction we have, just result in a wave of artificial dopamine? What comes next once you reach the maximum satisfaction in every living moment? Innovation in the real world might seize to exist. Once anything can give us full happiness, or the illusion of full happiness and satisfaction, noone will ever create anymore, or ever move a muscle again. Will we just end up in some sort of life support chamber, injecting our brain with constant dopamine, never thinking a single thought again? Just lifeless flesh littered across this rock floating in space. Will we become so lifeless that any alien species that stops by for a visit won't ever recognize us as a living creature? At best, they might take us as some kind of lumpy plant. Maybe that's what plants truly are. Aliens integrated with unfathomably successful nanotech that allows them to convert sun into energy, absorb water and nutrients essential to survive, while making no effort for it whatsoever. Just infinitely plugged into the VR landscape constantly tripping off maximum pleasure for eternity, indistinguishable from the earth itself.


Anyways, the pizza...


This was a bit of a spontaneous decision. Work has been crazy as usual, the weather's gotten cold, and I've gotten cranky. I've heard of Blaze but it has never been at the top of my list of priorities. I needed something relatively cheap and delicious and close, and Blaze checked all those boxes.


The interior looks like what you'd expect from a big franchise, but a little too "upscale" to resemble your average big-name pizzeria. I found out shortly after I ate that Lebron James was one of the original investors in this chain.


The pizza was surprisingly good, more than I'd expect from something high profile. The look of the pizza was decent from the get-go. A nice even distribution of cheese and sauce, and those lovely little natural burn marks on the edge of crust to show it was made by a real human being. Clean fold on the initial grab, accompanied by that lovely crunching noise that I dig. Oh and finally a place that doesn't fuckin cheap out on the sauce. They really packed that shit in there with a generously thick layer. Big respect. Tasted great too - quite sweet and a heartwarmingly radioactive red tint to it. The cheese was pretty great as well. Basically what you'd expect from a good slice. Overall a spot that really hit the craving proper and went above some expectations. Well done Lebron, you can comfortably quit your day job.


Also this post actually had good punctuation and capitalization. Guess I was feeling smart today. Oh and yes this was technically a margherita pizza, not my usual plain cheese. Not sure my reasoning behind this but here we are :)


***Update (Jan 16th, 2023): I've had this pizza 3 times since I made this initial post. I feel like I might be in denial because this is a fairly widespread American pizza chain whos establishment looks like the exact opposite of a "hole in the wall", and my hyper critical brain keeps telling me to like it less than I do. But man, does this pizza taste amazing. And it looks great. Total curveball in my journey but I gotta give credit when there's a good slice in town and this one is definitely one of those. Great.




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